Monday, December 05, 2011

Separation Anxiety

We're hardly like peanut butter and jelly. Tom & Jerry or Itchy & Scratchy might be closer to reality. We fight with each other, scream at each other, drive each other crazy, subject each other to the whole cold shoulder treatment, but we always make up. Angry words are always forgiven and shouting matches quickly forgotten (well, usually at least). Such is my relationship with my mom; an amazing one in fact.

I see my mother once every few months when she flies in for her month-long sojourn, a couple of times a year. A somewhat permanent arrangement that has started over a decade ago. She comes and goes like a seasonal migrating bird and that's the drill. Although it's one that I never quite get used to.

So human beings and animals alike are programmed to get used to things. You do the same thing all the time over some months, or some say 21 days, and it becomes a habit. Repeat that over a couple of years and it'll be like second nature. Only that for my mommy situation here, I simply don't get used to her leaving after every month-long stay. Sixteen years and counting, I say hello to separation anxiety every time I bid my mommy goodbye. Every time she goes, the fiercely independent grown up who could effectively change light bulbs turns into the same homesick whiny teen 16 years ago. I get moody. I get emotional. I get homesick. You get the drift.

This morning when I left for work, I'm that whiny moody adolescent all over again, only that it seems more acute this time. Of course some things in life you really don't get used to but I blame this heightened sense of separation anxiety on aging. The fact that I've grown much older to be reminded of the fact that our time together on this earth is limited; that I've matured enough to really appreciate my mom for who she is and what she's done for me; that I've been living by myself long enough to cherish the company of my own mother; and that I relish that sense of security for the simple reason that she's my mom.

So yes, I'm somewhat moody now because I miss my mom tremendously. 世上只有妈妈好Translation: Mom's the only great thing in the world. Yes, really. Even when she drives me up the wall at times. I love my mom!

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