No, this isn't a music post about ACDC (though I love them) but it's about a certain male anatomical body part: The Scrotum aka The Balls...
Now we've long been using the words "Family Jewels" and you've probably heard it if not said it quite a few times in some forms of conversation but why are man's balls called "Family Jewels"???
I started thinking cos I was threatening serious body harm of the scrotum to my sworn brother Nick when I was warning him to be nice to a certain lady who's very dear to me. I told him he'd better be nice and be good to this girl or I'll personally destroy his collection of motorbikes after having him castrated by a big scary dude with a mutton chop mustache like The Hulk.
He replied: "Why can't I keep the jewels?".....WTF....
The jewels??? The jewels??? Yikes.....Oh why are balls called "Family Jewels"? Why such precious term? And I haven't heard anything near that precious when it comes to having a street slang for the ovaries or vagina.....The worst and most vulgar ways to call a penis and balls are words like "wiener", "dick", "cock", "schlong", "dongs"...whatever....they all seem so common that they aren't even vulgar or profane but the situation isn't the same when it comes to our eggs and vijayjay....somehow, a certain unmentionable C-word comes to mind but how come the boys get such precious and glorifying terms for their reproductive parts? It's unfair I say....
When it comes to female body parts, it's almost always a joke or some serious profanity....our boobs have names like "Bazookas", "Jugs", "Tits", "Fun bags", and the nicest ones I can think of are "puppies", "babies" and "girls"....and what about our ovaries and vijayjay? I honestly can't think of one nice glorious and precious slang for it them....now that really annoys me!!! Time to think of a lovely lovely name for ourselves don't you think?! Something along the lines of "princess", "lovelies", "marvels" would be the way to go....hmmm......yes no maybe?
4 comments:
I understand from a particular individual threatened in your last post that the "scrotum" and the "balls" actually refer to different things. The scrotum is the sack that contains the balls.
And when one refers to the jewels, the scrotum is not included.
FYI: I am merely relaying this message to you.
Love you lots.
Okay, fine, if he wants to be so pre-fucking-cise, let me rephrase:
The Family Jewels= Testicles = that globular mass inside the scrotum that is linked to the prostrate which is a compound tubuloalveolar exocrine gland of the male reproductive system in most mammals. Yeah, that lump of organic stuff that spurts out sperms when stimulated.
Happy?
If he says anything more, I'll first destroy his bikes...
Hmmm, perhaps i can start the ball rolling - carnal crevice? hole of heaven? pleasurable pussy? eggies?
Just thinking out loud here...
Hmmm....not good enough Jason...it gotta be glamorous, cute, endearing and glorious...classy too please...
I seriously can't think of any now...
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