Ahhhhh....I've taken such a long hiatus from my blog and now I've got my shit together and it seems like I'm back in business.
Thing is, I'm getting a tad nervous about this coming Sunday cos it's my 27th birthday. Much as I love birthdays cos it's such an excuse to do lavish decadent stuff like buying yourself 10 pairs of new shoes, I have to say I absolutely don't like birthdays. Okay, that's an understatement. I fucking hate birthdays.
Apart from the fact that I'm getting older and officially in the late 20s category, I hate birthdays cos I've been rather jinxed when it comes to birthdays. So far, ever since I've moved to this tiny island of durian eaters, I've never really had a decent birthday. Well, that's another understatement actually, especially when I can remember rather vividly the many rather disasterous ones that I've had in the recent years.
To start with, back to the time when I was still in school, my birthday was never remembered nor celebrated cos it happens to fall under the ungodly time of the exam periods. So nobody really remembered and bring out that cheapskate in me, I would tell you that I lost out most of the time cos I would chip some money to buy my friends present but then when it came to my birthday, I received nothing cos everyone was just too busy mugging away in the stinky school canteen and overcrowded stuffy library.
Then roll the years forward to 2003. That's possibly the worst birthday ever cos while in the midst of my "happy pills therapy" (read: popping anti-depressant), I was also in the raw painful state of a really awful breakup. I remember me and my colleagues went to Zouk for the 50 Most Eligible Bachelors event. It's a cheapskate way to celebrate birthday thanks to the free booze. But after a dozen of vodka cranberry later, even those semi-naked, 6-pec baring, booty gyrating hunks wouldn't do it for me. I felt like a mess and total cow dung cos Zouk was the place where I met my ex. I felt so shitty that I was suicidal and that was the closest I've ever been to really slashing my own skinny wrist and downing a totally unglam hard-to-swallow cocktail of Dettol and Panadol. It was simply traumatic.
Then last year...yet another shitty birthday. A couple of months before my birthday, I met some fucking asshole uncle-fucking bastard who was toying with my emotions. And as an attempt to not get let down by the uncle-fucking asshole and a desperate measure to escape my jinxed birthday fate, I fled to Ubud in Bali all by myself and spent birthday there. Okay, it was painful at first but I must say I ended up having heaps of fun with a bunch of nice strangers from all over the world in the most amazing jazz pub I've ever been to.
Thing is, it seems like spending birthdays with strangers is the best remedy to escape lousy birthdays cos when strangers are concerned, there's absolutely no expectation. You'll never expect them to know it's your birthday, let alone buy you a present and cake to smash your pretty little face in.
So here the stressful bit came. I have no runaway plan this birthday and the impending B-Day is causing me some anxiety which results in some pretty strong laxative effect the moment I think about it. Already, it's a bit of a let down to start with cos as I thought my mom actually flew in for my birthday this year (after realizing that she hasn't done anything for my birthdays for years!), she told me that she's gonna go to Batam this Sunday (?????). What a major let down. And with a new man who never quite has the habit of celebrating birthdays, I'm just scared shitless what kind of freak show material this birthday's gonna present me with. Gosh, I almost feel the need to log on Zuji.com now and book another ticket to run off to Ubud again!! But there's really no running away this time. And I guess I'll just have to face my official "late 20s" birthday with much gusto. I hate it. I seriously do. I'm so not looking forward to it. It's seriously stressing me up so much that I'm really dreading it.
an enduring love for (mis)adventure
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Ugly folks need not apply!
It's outrageous! I was reading the papers (yup, again!) and there's this article that talks about this website called the beautifulpeople.net. Well, as the name suggests, it's got lots of beautiful people in there. The catch is that, to join the community, you gotta put your picture on the net and be judged by your physical attractiveness. For 3 days, you'll receive votes from voters. It's essentially a "Hot or Not" thing whereby you get ousted out and rejected of membership if you don't gather enough "You're Hot!" votes.
What the hell is that?? Isn't that discrimination to its max? I don't understand why some people would happily put their own pictures and be judged by the public. What's disturbing is that in the article, the founder of the website (some moron Denmark guy named Claus Kroyer) says that there're obsessed individuals who keep trying and sending pictures after getting rejected by the website over and over again. Some boost a whopping 30 to 40 tries and the real extremists even went for plastic surgery just to get a better chance of getting into the beautiful people club. What the fuck is wrong with these people? And what the fuck is wrong with this Claus Kroyer who started this stupid club?
It's just so wrong!! How can you judge beauty by mere physical appearance? Beauty is such a complex thing that goes beyond how you look. Just look at Mother Teresa, is she drop-dead gorgeous? No. But is there beauty in what she's done for the poor kids in India? Abso-fucking-lutely YES! And what's the chance of her making to the beautifulpeople.net apart from the obvious fact that she's now dead? Zero! So you tell me, Mr. Kroyer, what kind of lame message are you trying to spread???
It's sad to see how society judge everything based on superficial qualities. It's just pathetic. And to propagate this kind of values simply means that Mr. Kroyer deserves two very tight slaps on his supposedly beautiful face.
If you think hard about it, these bunch of supposedly beautiful buffoons are kinda insecure if you ask me. I mean why the hell do you need people to verify that you're beautiful if you're really secure and confident about youself? By doing it, it's just to boost your own ego and make yourself feel good by thinking that "oh yes, I made it, I'm gorgeous and I'm part of the IT group". But the thing is that, really confident and secure people don't require anymore ego boost cos they naturally feel adequate themselves. Well, not to mention the fact that there's a monthly membership fee of $10 for female and $30 for male. Seriously, why do you need to pay some Mr. Kroyer some money to verify that they're beautiful? It's such a stupid thing cos first, you put yourself up for people to openly judge you, then not feeling that you're doing yourself injustice nor loving yourself enough to feel that you don't need strangers to judge you, you happily pay some Denmark dude money every month to maintain your status as a beautiful person. Seriously, it sounds more like stupidity than beauty to me.
Well, Mr. Kroyer, perhaps your pathetic little website should more aptly named as superficialandinsecurepeople.net.
What the hell is that?? Isn't that discrimination to its max? I don't understand why some people would happily put their own pictures and be judged by the public. What's disturbing is that in the article, the founder of the website (some moron Denmark guy named Claus Kroyer) says that there're obsessed individuals who keep trying and sending pictures after getting rejected by the website over and over again. Some boost a whopping 30 to 40 tries and the real extremists even went for plastic surgery just to get a better chance of getting into the beautiful people club. What the fuck is wrong with these people? And what the fuck is wrong with this Claus Kroyer who started this stupid club?
It's just so wrong!! How can you judge beauty by mere physical appearance? Beauty is such a complex thing that goes beyond how you look. Just look at Mother Teresa, is she drop-dead gorgeous? No. But is there beauty in what she's done for the poor kids in India? Abso-fucking-lutely YES! And what's the chance of her making to the beautifulpeople.net apart from the obvious fact that she's now dead? Zero! So you tell me, Mr. Kroyer, what kind of lame message are you trying to spread???
It's sad to see how society judge everything based on superficial qualities. It's just pathetic. And to propagate this kind of values simply means that Mr. Kroyer deserves two very tight slaps on his supposedly beautiful face.
If you think hard about it, these bunch of supposedly beautiful buffoons are kinda insecure if you ask me. I mean why the hell do you need people to verify that you're beautiful if you're really secure and confident about youself? By doing it, it's just to boost your own ego and make yourself feel good by thinking that "oh yes, I made it, I'm gorgeous and I'm part of the IT group". But the thing is that, really confident and secure people don't require anymore ego boost cos they naturally feel adequate themselves. Well, not to mention the fact that there's a monthly membership fee of $10 for female and $30 for male. Seriously, why do you need to pay some Mr. Kroyer some money to verify that they're beautiful? It's such a stupid thing cos first, you put yourself up for people to openly judge you, then not feeling that you're doing yourself injustice nor loving yourself enough to feel that you don't need strangers to judge you, you happily pay some Denmark dude money every month to maintain your status as a beautiful person. Seriously, it sounds more like stupidity than beauty to me.
Well, Mr. Kroyer, perhaps your pathetic little website should more aptly named as superficialandinsecurepeople.net.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Things that I'm sick of
I'm sick of people killing each other in the name of religion.
I'm sick of terrorists bombing and destroying in the name of religion.
I'm sick of suicide bombers thinking that they're doing good and their death and hundreds more are for a better cause.
I'm sick of seeing 6-month-old babies and young children getting raped by their parents and other paedophilic monsters.
I'm sick of children getting sold and traded into prostitution.
I'm sick of the US army humiliating and abusing prisoners and robbed them of their dignity.
I'm sick of the rich nations not doing much and paying lip services to help the third world while jacking up the third world debts.
I'm sick of rich nations exploiting the third world with unfair trading and exploitations.
I'm sick of domestic violence where women get beaten into pieces.
I'm sick of women getting sold and conned into brothels.
I'm sick of animal abuse and the human exploitation of animals.
I'm sick of the lack of respect for our environment and excessive use and disposal of plastic bags.
I'm sick of the marginalization of minority groups by most governments (especially the Chinese government).
I'm sick of the misuse of world funds to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.
I'm sick of people's lack of awareness of what's going on to other parts of the world and other human beings.
I'm sick of people's apathy towards those who needs help and aids.
I'm sick of people's compassion fatigue and diffusion of responsibility.
I'm sick of power struggle of country authorities that in turn suffer the mass public.
I'm sick of the human sexual perversity.
I'm sick of the slow and gradual acceptance of sexual perversity being the mainstream "normal" stuff. (how else do you explain that the sickos get so bored by every single sexual perversity that they have to rape their own kids for thrill and sexual gratification?)
I'm sick of people wasting food and living in excess luxury while millions of others are starving.
I'm sick of spousal infidelity that results in emotional scars and damage.
I'm sick of seeing extreme poverty that's been ignored.
I'm sick of the brutality human beings are capable of.
I'm sick of terrorists bombing and destroying in the name of religion.
I'm sick of suicide bombers thinking that they're doing good and their death and hundreds more are for a better cause.
I'm sick of seeing 6-month-old babies and young children getting raped by their parents and other paedophilic monsters.
I'm sick of children getting sold and traded into prostitution.
I'm sick of the US army humiliating and abusing prisoners and robbed them of their dignity.
I'm sick of the rich nations not doing much and paying lip services to help the third world while jacking up the third world debts.
I'm sick of rich nations exploiting the third world with unfair trading and exploitations.
I'm sick of domestic violence where women get beaten into pieces.
I'm sick of women getting sold and conned into brothels.
I'm sick of animal abuse and the human exploitation of animals.
I'm sick of the lack of respect for our environment and excessive use and disposal of plastic bags.
I'm sick of the marginalization of minority groups by most governments (especially the Chinese government).
I'm sick of the misuse of world funds to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.
I'm sick of people's lack of awareness of what's going on to other parts of the world and other human beings.
I'm sick of people's apathy towards those who needs help and aids.
I'm sick of people's compassion fatigue and diffusion of responsibility.
I'm sick of power struggle of country authorities that in turn suffer the mass public.
I'm sick of the human sexual perversity.
I'm sick of the slow and gradual acceptance of sexual perversity being the mainstream "normal" stuff. (how else do you explain that the sickos get so bored by every single sexual perversity that they have to rape their own kids for thrill and sexual gratification?)
I'm sick of people wasting food and living in excess luxury while millions of others are starving.
I'm sick of spousal infidelity that results in emotional scars and damage.
I'm sick of seeing extreme poverty that's been ignored.
I'm sick of the brutality human beings are capable of.
Reading Newspaper Sucks!
If it's not to relief boredom at work while I slack off and count down to my last day at work, I wouldn't even laid hands on the newspaper! I've always hated reading the newspaper and today, after mulling over today's paper for a good one hour, it's just reconfirmed my disgust for newspaper.
Honestly, it's not so much about the concept of newspaper that puts me but the kind of sick, disturbing shit inside that sickens me. Maybe the title for this entry would more appropriately be named "This World Sucks!" cos everytime I'm done with reading the news, I would go into a mini depression episode for the fact that so many sick and disgusting stuff happened everyday.
Today's worst headlines:
Dogs used to threaten Abu Ghraib inmates
Long Jail terms meted out in French child sex trial
Seriously, stuff like the above challenges the morality of the entire human race and simply reinforces my belief that the fucking human race is the worst living specie on this planet. It upsets me so much everytime I turn the pages to read on the kind of brutality happened everywhere, all caused by us, the human race. What has happened to our conscience? The one thing that supposedly set up apart from animals and thus, making us supposedly the best in the animal kingdom. I'm seriously sick of getting all these grim and cold news. Is there a day where I'm gonna wake up to good news all over the pages?
Well, I guess we all know what the answer is..........
Honestly, it's not so much about the concept of newspaper that puts me but the kind of sick, disturbing shit inside that sickens me. Maybe the title for this entry would more appropriately be named "This World Sucks!" cos everytime I'm done with reading the news, I would go into a mini depression episode for the fact that so many sick and disgusting stuff happened everyday.
Today's worst headlines:
Dogs used to threaten Abu Ghraib inmates
Long Jail terms meted out in French child sex trial
Seriously, stuff like the above challenges the morality of the entire human race and simply reinforces my belief that the fucking human race is the worst living specie on this planet. It upsets me so much everytime I turn the pages to read on the kind of brutality happened everywhere, all caused by us, the human race. What has happened to our conscience? The one thing that supposedly set up apart from animals and thus, making us supposedly the best in the animal kingdom. I'm seriously sick of getting all these grim and cold news. Is there a day where I'm gonna wake up to good news all over the pages?
Well, I guess we all know what the answer is..........
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
It's official!! I have permenant post-holiday disorder!
Oh no...I'm kinda doomed cos I still catch myself reminiscing my UK+Spain holiday and it's been two weeks since I've got back to boring Durian land but I'm still thinking very fondly of the land of fish'n'chips and seafood paella! It's official! I probably have permenant post-holiday disorder cos it's been two weeks since I got back from my long break but I'm still not functioning well! (obviously having a "fuck-care" attitude while counting down to my last day at my lousy and pathetic company really doesn't help!)
Thing is, with a daily view that looked something like this while I'm there:
Or goofing around, laughing and striking silly spastic poses while exploring new place like this:
How is it possible for anyone to recover from the post holidays blue?? It really sucks! Peril of having too much of a good time! Somebody please help me cos I've tasted heaven and now I'm stuck in demi-hell (to say that it's total hell would be utterly ingrateful on my part cos yes, I know I have a living situation much much better than most)! Now I can't think of anything but my next trip...again, nevermind the bloody piling credit card debts! Argh!
Now here're what I want on my Christmas list: 24 months bonus and one year sabatical leave!
Thing is, with a daily view that looked something like this while I'm there:
Or goofing around, laughing and striking silly spastic poses while exploring new place like this:
How is it possible for anyone to recover from the post holidays blue?? It really sucks! Peril of having too much of a good time! Somebody please help me cos I've tasted heaven and now I'm stuck in demi-hell (to say that it's total hell would be utterly ingrateful on my part cos yes, I know I have a living situation much much better than most)! Now I can't think of anything but my next trip...again, nevermind the bloody piling credit card debts! Argh!
Now here're what I want on my Christmas list: 24 months bonus and one year sabatical leave!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Separation Anxiety
I'm feeling rather moody. Not just because I'm having the post-holiday blues following my 17-day trip to London and Spain but also largely because I'm having a bit of separation anxiety now.
The trip was great not just because the places I went too was fantastic but the people that I was with were awesome. I totally enjoy basking into the company of people. I went on this holiday with my boyfriend and his cousins and they're absolutely fun and fantastic people to hang out with. Quite an excellent change from my current isolated work environment and living arrangement. I simply thrive on the company of good people.
Now I'm back to my usual arrangement and I feel totally isolated. I miss having someone around and not being alone. I'm okay on my own and definitely not one of those whiny chicks who say they don't dare to sleep alone with nobody around cos I've been by myself since I was 15. It's just that I love having company cos I'm more of a social organism than lone ranger.
This makes me rather family-sick (well, I try to refrain from using the term "homesick" cos I don't have a very good sense of what home is anyway). I miss my family. I miss the days where I go home to my parents and doting grandma. I miss having home-cooked meals and tv time with my parents. I miss going to the supermarket for grocery shopping with my dad. I miss driving out for sunday lunch with my folks. I miss going for a good slurpy bowl of side-street wonton noodle with my parents. In short, I simply miss everything family cos I'm sick and tired of living alone away from my family.
Argh...I should stop complaining really....I should go for retail therapy...nevermind the hefty credit card debt...whatever!!!
The trip was great not just because the places I went too was fantastic but the people that I was with were awesome. I totally enjoy basking into the company of people. I went on this holiday with my boyfriend and his cousins and they're absolutely fun and fantastic people to hang out with. Quite an excellent change from my current isolated work environment and living arrangement. I simply thrive on the company of good people.
Now I'm back to my usual arrangement and I feel totally isolated. I miss having someone around and not being alone. I'm okay on my own and definitely not one of those whiny chicks who say they don't dare to sleep alone with nobody around cos I've been by myself since I was 15. It's just that I love having company cos I'm more of a social organism than lone ranger.
This makes me rather family-sick (well, I try to refrain from using the term "homesick" cos I don't have a very good sense of what home is anyway). I miss my family. I miss the days where I go home to my parents and doting grandma. I miss having home-cooked meals and tv time with my parents. I miss going to the supermarket for grocery shopping with my dad. I miss driving out for sunday lunch with my folks. I miss going for a good slurpy bowl of side-street wonton noodle with my parents. In short, I simply miss everything family cos I'm sick and tired of living alone away from my family.
Argh...I should stop complaining really....I should go for retail therapy...nevermind the hefty credit card debt...whatever!!!
Monday, June 27, 2005
Is Hollywood ever gonna get it right??
I watched the latest Batman movie yesterday and it's the best Batman they've made so far. Nice realistic plot and true to comic milieu of Batman. BUT, I have only one complaint.
Is Holly fucking Wood ever gonna get the oriental culture right??????
Bits of the movie involved Bruce Wayne escaping from a prison in China and he was instructed to venture up the snow-caped mountain in what looks like the Northern bit of China (looks sort of like Mongolia or Tibet). I'm pretty dead sure it's in China cos the Chinese prisoners where Bruce spoke in Chinese. But then when he got up to the snowy mountain, Bruce Wayne met some Japanese ninja master and there're in fact a bunch of ninjas. Now isn't that strange or what????? Japanese ninja on a Chinese mountain???????? Hello Hollywood???? Though we Chinese and Japanese have yellow skin but Japan is an ocean away from China!! I simply can't believe it!
What really amazes and amuses me is the fact that in the movie, the Chinese prisoners in the cell actually spoke perfect English. So did the Chinese tribes who lived on the foot of that snow-caped mountain.
Why? Oh why must Holly fucking Wood americanized and westernized the oriental to the point that it doesn't make sense??? You don't see the ang mohs in Asian movies speaking Chinese or other Asian languages do you? Well, ocassionally you do, but it's simply not the norm!
American simply americanize every single damn thing and it really shits me! I remember watching Enemy At The Gates which features the war between the Germans and Russians during the Stalin regime. Hunky Dory Jude Law played the famous Russian sniper Vasili Ziesafv (pardon me for my spelling cos I have no idea how to spell it) while Joseph Finnes play some German soldier hunting after Jude and no prize for guessing what lauguage the two conversed in! They spoke in English!!!!??? Okay, fine, whatever! You might say but they're Germans and Russians! Perhaps English really is the common language but then the problem is, the Germans spoke to other Germans in the film in English while the Russians converse with their commrades in fluent English too!How ridiculous???? I simply can't stand it!
What is wrong with Hollywood?? Time to check your facts buddy!!! And stop globalizing the whole world and eating into different culture the American way cos it sucks! Especially with a dumb President like Bush! The rest of the world might not want too much association with that. Enough is enough!
Is Holly fucking Wood ever gonna get the oriental culture right??????
Bits of the movie involved Bruce Wayne escaping from a prison in China and he was instructed to venture up the snow-caped mountain in what looks like the Northern bit of China (looks sort of like Mongolia or Tibet). I'm pretty dead sure it's in China cos the Chinese prisoners where Bruce spoke in Chinese. But then when he got up to the snowy mountain, Bruce Wayne met some Japanese ninja master and there're in fact a bunch of ninjas. Now isn't that strange or what????? Japanese ninja on a Chinese mountain???????? Hello Hollywood???? Though we Chinese and Japanese have yellow skin but Japan is an ocean away from China!! I simply can't believe it!
What really amazes and amuses me is the fact that in the movie, the Chinese prisoners in the cell actually spoke perfect English. So did the Chinese tribes who lived on the foot of that snow-caped mountain.
Why? Oh why must Holly fucking Wood americanized and westernized the oriental to the point that it doesn't make sense??? You don't see the ang mohs in Asian movies speaking Chinese or other Asian languages do you? Well, ocassionally you do, but it's simply not the norm!
American simply americanize every single damn thing and it really shits me! I remember watching Enemy At The Gates which features the war between the Germans and Russians during the Stalin regime. Hunky Dory Jude Law played the famous Russian sniper Vasili Ziesafv (pardon me for my spelling cos I have no idea how to spell it) while Joseph Finnes play some German soldier hunting after Jude and no prize for guessing what lauguage the two conversed in! They spoke in English!!!!??? Okay, fine, whatever! You might say but they're Germans and Russians! Perhaps English really is the common language but then the problem is, the Germans spoke to other Germans in the film in English while the Russians converse with their commrades in fluent English too!How ridiculous???? I simply can't stand it!
What is wrong with Hollywood?? Time to check your facts buddy!!! And stop globalizing the whole world and eating into different culture the American way cos it sucks! Especially with a dumb President like Bush! The rest of the world might not want too much association with that. Enough is enough!
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