Friday, April 08, 2011

Fat & Bitchy or Bitchy & Fat

In my career thus far, there has been 4 female of the specie that fall under the category of "Evil/Mega/Vicious Super Biatch". I'd rather have root canal for all my teeth at one go than to deal with them. A couple of days ago, I had to take a Xanax so I could sleep cos I had such a horrible day at work where not only did I have to deal with mad bosses (who are so demanding and difficult that they might as well as me to jump through fire hoops), I had to find out that some biatch back-stabbed me. Oh and she apparently back-stabbed another department and the people who have been very helpful to her. Their crime? They couldn't think of any except that they had to be firm and assertive with her when she questioned them things she didn't know of. My crime? I don't quite know except that one time where I left work early cos the boss said that I could and she wasn't happy with that.

So I thought of all the biatches throughout the years and here they are...

Biatch 1: Miss M
From my first job, she wasn't THAT much of a biatch to me but she was terrorizing and bossing this other colleague so much she was crying a lot and had panic attack in the morning thinking about going to work. She had weird hair with strange colors like blue, pink and ugly blond, a flat face, flabby arms, a pear shape body with thunder calves and "Cankles" (my ex used to call him "pig's trotters"), no boobs (what's the point of being fat when you have no tits? sad sod) and a very loud voice. She talks about herself ALL THE TIME, every day during lunch and think herself as hot.

Biatch 2: Miss L
Second job. This frizzy haired bossy middle-age aunty is fat, has bad hair that looked a bit like a "fro" (she spent a few hundreds on it at Passion Salon), a very loud high nasal voice, an argumentative personality and an obsession with Jacky Cheung (She was a groupie and would call him her "brother" and take leave to follow him everywhere if he's in town). She once lost her cool on me for being sick when I was about to faint from food poisoning and there wasn't anyone around the office and I really needed to go home. She was yelling on the phone and I was literally in tears from anger.

Biatch 3: Miss K
The most vicious of all I've met. The best way to describe her body is "a potato on tooth picks". Her pins are pretty nice but her body is like a ball and it's not proportionate. Her paunch belly was soooo huge it juts out beyond her saggy Double D boobs. Again, she has a loud voice and if she talks, the entire office could hear her. On the first day at work, she enthusiastically bitched about her previous boss. Then a couple of days later, during an event, she openly bitched about her then boyfriend saying he's a loser (like wtf? the question is why the hell was she still with him then?). Then she openly taunted this other colleague who's a bit chubby and voluptuous saying shit like "Hey, how the hell do you live with the fact that you're so fat?"...and she thinks of herself as skinny cos there's once we all burst out laughing when we overheard her telling someone "But I'm so petite!"...I've never got back stabbed so much in my entire life and she would openly lied and talked shit in front of management. The sad story was, the management KNEW and her lies were verified but the fucking management did nothing.

Biatch 4: Miss C
Another fatty. She has hair that looks like instant noodle aka Maggie Mee and she's chubby overall, flat face, very small eyes, wears her blusher in concentric circles on the apple of her flat cheek, buck teeth that looks a bit equestrian. Oh, she, too, has a very loud voice and she constantly burps loudly a couple of times a day, and she snorts when she laughs. She bosses people around, thinks she's always right and would argue about it, back stabs and apparently, there are a lot of people who have come to me to tell me they, too, hate her guts. Some even outside of my company but have worked with her before. She is delusional too cos once she asked someone how fat was this new gym instructor in the gym she goes to, the person replied saying "really quite fat" and then she said "Oh but you have a very warped idea of what fat is, please, you think I'm fat!".....LOL....

So do you see a trend or what? It seems like Biatches have the following traits:

  • Bad hair
  • Loud voice
  • Fat body
  • A general sense of delusion about their "robust" physics
  • Bossy disposition
Hmmmm....strange huh? I know there's some skinny bitches and I've dealt with one before for sure whom I've worked with but it seems like the main bulk of them are fat and loud! Well, it's just an interesting observation I've seen. At least from the ones I've dealt with. Am I missing something here? Do you know any who fit into that mold? 

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