Best Way to Dispose A Dead Body

Phoaw...some chick got murdered while having her body chopped up into pieces, stuffed into carton boxes and thrown into the Kallang River ala CSI style yesterday!

Sheer bad luck for the poor cleaner dude who discovered the body cos according to the papers, he said her flesh looked like fresh meat as if she's still alive (Okay, I don't quite get how he could use that to describe a mutilated corpse but whatever) and he could see that her knee bones are really white.

The thing that got me thinking is that how come the killer is so freaking dumb??? Either he has the intellect of a fruit fly or he has the intention to somehow end up in jail cos he didn't even bother tying some weight to sink the chopped-up body.

Come on, disposing a corpse down the river is the worst way of dunking a dead body cos the water current will somehow bring the dead body back. I remember watching the first episode of Nip/Tuck whereby the two surgeons were trying to dispose the dead body of a liposuction hazard. The method was pretty awesome in a sense that it's dark and twisted. The kind of black humor you see in The Addam's Family.

They went to the supermarket and bought like a dozen of chunky honey baked ham, tied it to the dead corpse and dump the dead meat and ham at the local swamp where an alligator lurked. The alligator sensed the smell of the ham, charged at both the ham and dead corpse, corpse got chomped down and problem solved.

But then we haven't got any swamp and the closest we get to an alligator (except for those in the crocodile farm that is) is perhaps its distant, much tamer and less hungry cousin aka the Monitor Lizards that lurks in local drain and commonly seen at Marina. So how like that??

To effectively dispose a corpse with minimal risk of getting caught for murder, I would highly recommend using an industrial meat grinder that will grind down the bones as well. You just gotta chop up the dead shit into many smaller chunks so they'll fit into the grinder, then you run the dead meat into the grinder and turn it into minced human meat and Viola! No more finger prints, no more dental record and people just probably think that it's simply minced pork or something....I think it even beats the "chop up the dead corpse and cook into curry" trick that happened back in 1984.

The only tricky bit here is perhaps to get the meat grinder but I guess making friends with the local abatoirs guys might help....