I tender my resignation as a Salmon! I don't wanna be a salmon anymore! Can somebody turn me into a big fat whale instead???
I'm feeling like I'm a struggling salmon. Of all the fishes, salmon probably has a pretty tough life cos it gotta struggle and swim upstream against the flow most of the time. I'd settle to be a fat whale anytime, nevermind the layers of bubbler they have cos anyway, I don't see any cellulite.
I'm struggling with my sanity now cos after feeling better and gaining some perspective yesterday, I woke up this morning getting apprehensive cos I'm afraid I'll feel like shit again and go psycho on everyone with my uncontrollable temper while sinking into depression. Argh...it's shit cos after struggling to feel better, now I have to worry about keeping up with the positive outlook and not losing it again. Life is indeed a bitch.
Yet another worry is the probability of nabbing a new decent job. Fast. I want a new job offer now!!! I realize it's really the end of my tolerance race this morning when I feel sick in the stomach the moment I walked into my little sterile office while Jabba The Hutt let out one fake and slimy "Morrrrrrrning" to me. Then as my boss walked in (god!! Is she ever gonna stop dragging her fucking little feet as she walks?), I conjured up mental images of kicking her teeth in with my 3-inch heels. Hmm...come to think of it, I might just be doing her a favor kicking her teeth in cos she's got some serious buck teeth and really should be visiting the orthodontist soon. To put it in a more poetic way, she has teeth that can very well double up as carrot scraper...Oops, the inner bitch is out!
Anyway, I'm one tired salmon and perhaps my priority now is not to struggle upstream but just let things be and switch off my mind for awhile. Tough, I know, especially with an overactive brain like my which probably is badly in need of a lobotomy. But I'll try at least.
I think I'm gonna stop struggling for awhile and just chill out. Take it easy, tune out, step down, nevermind the rest of the pack are still braving upstream. I guess sometimes in life, in order to move forward, perhaps you just gotta let go and take a step back and let the current carry you for awhile instead and just chill.
Salmon sashimi anyone?
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