Friday, June 24, 2005

Men's Magazine, Stupid Straight Men and Alluring Gay Men

I finally figure out why my gay friend, Nic, would always be the perfect man in my eyes! Apart from his to-die-for swimmer bod (Woohoo! My temperature rises simply by thinking of it!) with the perfectly-toned six pecs, V-shaped body, bubble butt and gorgeous face (he looks like the Chinese version of VJ Utt), he IS indeed the perfect man cos he understands all my needs inside out! All my whimps and fancy, my emotional needs, whatever you name it, he understands it! And I'm starting to think that the reason is that he simply reads Men's magazines with care. As in really read the article and not just look at the pictures of half-dangling boobs.

I was just refusing to work on a Friday afternoon (normally I switch off after noon) and happened to be reading the articles in Men's Health. Boy!!! I didn't know they have articles to teach men how to handle women better!! There's one article that tell men how to be better in bed and it's catered to satisfying the female species. Then there's another one that educates clueless men how to deal with their girlfriends' needs. I'm kinda surprised and I thought, ney...maybe it's just this issue. But when I went through my archive of Men's Health, Maxim and FHM magazines, they DO have articles like that every month!! So what the fuck is going on you men out there???? Come on!! I know you guys read those stuff but how come you guys aren't becoming smarter when dealing with us?? And I still hear complaints like "Aiyah, you're damn high maintence lah", "Well, if you want something you gotta ask for it!!!!" or "You're just too sensitive dear!" Argh..that drives me nuts!!

I was on the phone with my good friend just now and learnt that she, too, is having issues with the boyfriend and we share similar problems. In fact, most of our girlfriends have similar, recurring issues as mine and I come to think that perhaps straight men are simply....well, dumb and dense.

Our straight dudes do read men's magazines but how come their gay counterparts are scoring so much better on the attractive scale is that they pay attention to articles. Nic reads every article in the men's mag and that includes the "how to make your girlfriend feels better" stuff every month. Straight men, on the other hand, look at nothing but the scantily bikini-clad babes, drool and lust after them (okay, some do more than that but I don't wanna think about it) and nothing else. How annoying! Cos with the copious amount of free porn out there, you straight guys might as well just don't waste that 5 bucks to get a copy of lad's mag (I can tell you pretty sure that if Singapore ever allows things like Playboy or Hustler, no title like FHM or Men's Health would sustain its business)! Since you're not learning, you might as well use that 5 bucks to buy yourself a MacDonald value meal instead!

I asked my guy friend if he ever reads articles like that and he said with a grim and annoying reply: "Aiyah, what you expect, we're men what! Visual-driven creatures! All those lovey dovey article shit simply is too long-winded lah. I'd rather look at the big neh neh pok. I tried to read the articles but I usually stop halfway loh. No big deal what!"

Nothing that surprises me really but seriously, men can sometimes be really self-obsessed and I hate that. Being self-obsessed's fine but let's just get it straight. Sometimes it's not that we're needy and unreasonable but you guys are simply fucking dense like a dead piece of log and simply don't learn!

And to nic if you happen to be reading this: You'd better make sure I'm still number one on your waiting list if you ever decide to turn straight!

1 comment:

beracahvalley said...

himmm...interesting but sad to say, got to agree in some ways, but not all of them are like that la.

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