Red Flags

I was playing Aunt Agony to a girl friend of mine and she's having some trouble with her new "date". She said "date" and not boyfriend cos they're supposed to be dating each other exclusively but they're not at a stage where they'd introduce each other to as "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" to their friends and now she's in a bit of a dilemma cos the guy seems to be showing a bit of early warning signs that he might still be keeping his options open cos he's been getting very frequent emails from his "new friends" who are all female. Thing is, they met online and my friend's kinda worried that he might still be chatting with other girls despite that he's already taken his profile off the dating site....so yeah, my friend's kinda disturbed and she asked if it's a "red flag" situation. I said...possibly but I guess it's a bit too early to judge cos she'll probably have to wait and observe it a bit more to see how it all pans out...But it got us talking about some of the early red flags warnings for people who're not that serious about you in the early stage of dating ...and let me give you some of the warning signs which are definitely red flags in my book....

Miss B's Red Flag Warning Signs:

• You're supposed to be dating each other exclusively but still the person doesn't introduce you as "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" to his or her friends or describe what you two have as a "relationship". Okay granted that it's a bit awkward in the initial stage and sometimes it takes a while for the "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" labeling to set in but if it's say 3 months into your "exclusive dating" arrangement and you're still being referred to as "friend" in public or when the word "relationship" is avoided, then red flag!!
• If he or she is constantly entertaining an influx of "new friends" of the opposite sex (or same depending on your sexual orientation) via text, phone, msn, email etc....It might mean that he/she is sort of telling you it's exclusive but then he/she might not have closed other options and is possibly flirting with others too
• You guys don't plan your time together and are still randomly meeting and you still go through the "I wonder if he's free this weekend" thing.....or if he/she isn't making plan with you in mind or doesn't quite inform you of his/her plan...it's worse when you THINK that you're gonna spend time with him/her but turns out that other plans without you have been made...If you're in a real committed relationship, you plan your time together
• If you're constantly excluded in his/her outings or get together or party....of course you can't expect to be invited all the time cos there're times when you want private catch up with friends, but if you're always excluded in big groups of get-togethers where people bring their partners along, it's not a good sign!
• Now you've been staying over at each others' places for some time now but he/she STILL makes you bring all your belongings back each time after you stay the night....warning! Cos I would imagine your partner to make some space for you to chuck your stuff and sometimes
• He/She isn't very comfortable holding hands or being physically close to you in public...not asking you to make out or snog your lips out till someone shouts "Get a room" but if the person's not comfy with holding your hands in public, it's a warning sign...
• They withhold information when it comes to going out with the opposite sex (or same, depending on your sexual orientation again)...they wouldn't say a word unless you ask or is kinda dicey when it comes to tell you who the person is. And that happens rather often.....for most of my couple friends, they agree that if they're going out with the opposite sex, they would inform their partners prior to it as a sign of respect and to reassure that it's nothing. 
• If the person doesn't want you to meet his/her friends, well, warning too......or when he/she wanna keep everything low key cos why so secretive? Very dodgy!

It's about all I can think of right now...some I've experienced myself and some my friend did....but the bottomline is, if you want commitment and the other party's not ready to give, walk off cos life's too short for compromise...yes, I've heard the whole "Oh but I'm not ready now but I might slowly get ready"....well, when they say they're not ready, BELIEVE them and pull back unless you're ready to plunge into a pool of uncertainty to play the waiting game! And I can tell you it's not a fun game you want to get yourself into!