No Love for Durian

I mentioned my umpteenth failed attempt to appreciate durian a couple of days ago and then someone asked me why I hate it so much....well, it's not that I hate it, it's just that it doesn't agree with my taste bud and its unique aroma tends to assault than caress my olfactory glands....so here's why I can't deal with durian:

• It smells like gasoline mixed with cat piss (the tom cat kinda pee ie. the smelliest of all cat piss)....I remember once I was panicking at home and getting really angry at Mr Bond cos I could smell cat pee and I was frantically looking for the pee spot...ONLY to realise that my mom just opened the fridge to take out some durian and it was actually the smell of the spikey fruit
• It tastes odd...like a mixture of oatmeal, smelly cheese, and mango (for that bit of sweetness) doused in gasoline...
• It stinks up the whole fridge!!! Especially the ice!!!!
• Your hands stink after durian...and my grandpa said you need to wash your hand with the durian seed...like hold the seed and do the soap lathering motion under the running water to get rid of the stench...fact or fiction??? Anyone knows??
• You fart durian fart! My dad farted in front of me and it was a mixture of poo and durian smell....*vomit*
• You burp durian....the smell just didn't go away even hours after I had that tiny spoonful of durian puree...and it's as if I'm burping gasoline....
• I once puked because I got sick from the smell while being in a car with durian...of course the jerking car motion didn't help...but yes, I vomited and turn green...apparently many years ago in Hong Kong, before I moved to Singapore, it was reported in the news that an old British couple who were visiting Hong Kong saw the strange fruit for the first time in their entire life, got curious and took a big sniff and the wife passed out and was sent to the hospital....hmm...LOL
• It doesn't look sexy or juicy like normal fruits....lame reason I know...

But yeah, I've tried many many many times to appreciate this king of all fruits and I envy those people who gush about it cos they have one more gourmet fruit to enjoy but it's been failed attempts after attempts for me to learn to love it...and I always feel sick after eating it and I think it's about time I give up...cos it's not working out...I'll save my share for those who knows how to appreciate it....