Men, Cheating & Prostitution

Last week during a photoshoot, I was chatting with photographer, Ken, and the topic of men and their cheating ways came about. He basically said that men are programmed to cheat and they will if they can. Not the first time I heard this but it's just ever so disturbing whenever I hear it from yet another straight man who thinks that cheating is in fact, in a men's nature and biological make-up. The need to spread their "seeds" as wide and as much as they can is always the favorite number one "reasoning". Blame it on revolution and go ask Uncle Darwin and he would tell you the same thing. Ken said women should just understand and close one eye and know that just because your husband or boyfriend is poking his wiener into another woman's vajayjay for pleasure doesn't means he loves you less. Again, it isn't the first time someone told me that cos long ago, a friend David said that how well a marriage works depends on how tolerant the wife is when it comes to the hubby's philandering ways.

It's very tragic and much as most women I know would curse and swear at the above mentioned statements, they all know that what Ken and David said is kinda true to some extent. Yes, there'll always be the really faithful men but those are quite a rare breed these days apparently. Personally, I know more than a handful of guy friends who are cheating, have cheated or will be fine cheating on their girlfriends and wives. And yes, some women are also guilty of cheating but generally, you hear stories of men cheating more than that of women cheating. And whenever I say that men tend to cheat more than women, my straight guy friends will be quick to defend their own gender and say that women cheat too but hey, if you can use the evolutionary need to "spread your seed" as an excuse to cheat and blame it on biology, then well, you have just made your point that men DO tend to cheat.

So I told Ken that it sucks cos women are in the losing end and in my next life, I would wanna be a rich smart handsome man so I can have lots of girls and Ken said:

"See!!! That's precisely the point! If you're the man, even you yourself said you would wanna cheat! So you and all the women folk out there ought to understand us men cos it's just the way we're wired"

I was lost at words...and he then followed to tell me something more disturbing...he thinks that philandering men who don't cheat with a prostitute are stupid. I gasped in horror and he explained:

"You see, you think prostitution is bad but it's really the easiest and the smartest way cos you spend the money, you get laid and have your fun. If you're going to a club to score a girl, you gotta woo and buy drinks and sometimes you don't even get lucky. Then, if you get lucky, she might turn out to be some crazy psycho who wants more and would call you while you're with the wife or the girlfriend so you're screwed. And if it's the one-night-stand kind of girl, you don't know if she's got some STD and condom isn't fool-proofed and then what if she gives you trouble and cries rape the next day like the recent case in Zouk? Then you're double screwed! If you go to a prostitute, she can't cry rape, you can choose who exactly you want, you spend the money and you're guaranteed to get laid and they have to constantly go for health checks. Isn't it easier? Now you see the point?"

Shit....why the fuck does this make sense? I hate to admit but yes, it actually has some sound reasoning to it....not good! Cos what if like me, you're one of those women folks out there who simply can't tolerate cheating? So is that to say we're doomed for heartbreak?

Now, Sophion the make up guru joined in the discussion and agreed that women simply gotta close an eye. So I brought up what I thought was the ultimate weapon. TRUE LOVE. I said whatever happens to true love?? If you love your wife or girlfriend, aren't you supposed to not do rubbish like that like cheating? Sophion then said:

"Darling, true love only lasts a certain time for as long as you're still in your honeymoon and are aren't bored with the person okay?"

Oh no....again, from the stories I know of and some personal experience, yes, sometimes love goes away and Scotty has so rightly pointed out that very often, material things last longer than love. Now I dunno what to think....it seems like maybe my whole concept of monogamous loving relationship isn't realistic? That's quite a scary thing...or is this "close an eye" approach a new norm and the better way to go? I really don't quite know and I'm not exactly sure what to expect or what is acceptable. It's all so convoluted that I think I decided to just go shoe shopping instead....