Thursday, August 11, 2011

Little Facts & Lessons About Work

It's been a decade. Yes, it's been 10 years and I can't believe I've been working for a decade. The tragic thing is, I think there're many more 10 years to come if I don't strike lottery soon.

Anyhow, here are some of the things I've learned, realized or figured out from my minion-hood about the working world....
  • It is TRUE when I was told that working life is harder than school life
  • Money isn't easy to make. It's fucking hard to earn. The so-called "financial independence" they told you about doesn't mean you'll have money to buy whatever you want, it simply means this: You're fucking off your parents' dole and you're on your own. You make whatever peanuts, pay your own bills, get into credit card debts, scrimp and save and get out of debt and hopefully still manage to save some for rainy days or for your old folks' home fund in the future
  • When landing a job, it's never about how good you are even when you've got excellent track records in tow, it's very often about who you know and what connections you have. Sometimes it's about how good you look too. I know once that someone was hired cos "she's got nice hair"...yes, verbatim...shocking cos it's a corporate job, not some audition for hair model mind you. It's unfair. Not like you don't know anyway. Deal with it
  • It's never about how hard you work. It's about making your boss and people THINK that you're fucking hardworking. Case in point: I have a colleague who stay late everyday but then I see her playing online games or surfing online shops all the time and my boss thinks she's fucking hardworking
  • If you're stuck doing low mileage maximum effort project, you're fucked cos nobody would remember. If you can, always go get those that give you maximum mileage and recognition. Your colleague can get a bigger raise by doing one maximum mileage low effort shit while you do 10 low mileage maximum effort tasks. Get the idea?
  • ALWAYS shout out what you've done. Yes, it might not be your (or my) style to broadcast every damn piece of work you've completed but trust me, you must make the whole damn world know what you've achieved no matter how small it is. Even shit like "Ohhh I've just finished sending an email" can do you good every now and then
  • There will always be incompetent and imbecile bosses. But if you know how to manage the imbeciles, you can run the show. The trick is to "empower" useless bosses and do their stuff that they dunno how to do and they'll leave all the decisions to you while they go play their golf at lunch and go home after. Case in point: I have this useless mid 40s man boss who actually didn't know how to "Cut and Paste"...yes, no fucking kidding....and it was in 2009, not some typewriter Mad Men era
  • When working with super control freak bosses who micro-manage, don't work so hard or put in too much effort or thoughts cos they'll change it anyway. They'll have to make changes even when it doesn't make a difference. So again, deal with it. They probably didn't get hugged enough when they were young and you need to forgive them for fucked up childhood
  • There will ALWAYS be politics. Some worse, some not as bad but you've never really escaped high school. It's everywhere
  • ALWAYS make yourself look really busy and in deep concentration. Even if it's just chatting with friends on MSN
  • It's never quite okay to really be on MC because people will think you're just pretending even if you're so sick that you probably have one foot into the grave. Especially so if you're sick on Monday or Friday. I suggest fainting in front of boss if you're intending to take 2 or more days of MC cos it'll show the whole office you're sick. Bonus point if they call the ambulance
  • There will always be bosses and evil drones who take your credit. Know how to fight for it. When making a brilliant suggestion you know they'll most likely steal, make sure you make it in front of the big boss or the Grand Poobah so they'll know it's your idea
  • You can't be buddy and friends with everyone. Yes some friendships do blossom at workplace but best not to trust everyone unless they've proven to have your back. You never really know who your real enemies are...very dangerous
  • Never get yourself involved in office politics. ALWAYS be neutral when someone asks you stuff about another person cos your words can be used against you to insinuate things. Eg. "Miss B also agrees that...." or "Miss B said...." So don't get yourself in that boobie trap
  • Always be nice to everyone you work with, both within and outside of the company. You never know when you'll run into them, work with them, need their help or be interviewed by them again. Once a colleague was cocky and somewhat rude to a magazine newbie writer we worked with, and years later, the same writer became the editor. Nuff said
  • Your idealism (and I say naivety) might make you think that money isn't everything and job satisfaction is more important. Well that's what I thought, but after getting the same job satisfaction of doing the same things in different companies and different settings (read: doing the same shit over and over or "same shit, different days"), I've come to realize money is MORE important...especially when a big bill land on your lap or when you see a pair of drool-worthy Louboutin or yummy Chanel bag you so longingly want to buy....Money matters. A HELL LOT. Unless you have a trust fund that is
  • Promotion and recognition by merit, contribution and competence don't happen all the time. It happens sometimes if you're lucky but other times, it's about how many boots you lick and how many cocks you suck
  • Very often, glamorous-looking jobs or companies have very un-glamorous me on that
  • In many big organizations, you get retrenched not because their financials are in the reds but it's because they're not making enough money (thank god not my first hand experience...yet) disgusting? But yes it's true, their way of cooking the book the make their financials look good is to well, cook and kill their employees. Dog eat dog
  • Loyalty is a scamp and hasn't got real value. You might pledge loyalty by staying with a company but they can axe you without blinking an eye. Case in point: a long-serving ex colleague who's super capable and hardworking said the wrong thing once and its his downfall and then he got axed one day. Stupid him cos he had a couple of good offers which he didn't take. See, what does loyalty bring you? Nothing much. Does loyalty pay your bill? Well, clearly it doesn't in this case
  • George Orwell's Animal Farm is a very accurate reflection of the working world. The pigs run the world and the loyal ones are worked to death
  • You're very dispensable and replaceable. Don't ever get tricked into thinking that you're so valuable cos when crunch time comes, you're nothing but a fucking number to your employer
Hmm...that's more or less....I'm sure there's more I can think of but I guess the salient points are there anyway. 


Anonymous said...

true. but depressing much. -hl.

Tiffany said...

happy to see new posts, dear! :)

as for work satisfaction, the old saying still stay so true, "find a job u like and u never have to work a single day"..a friend's friend of mine join the airline and fly around the world; shop, travel, meet new people, shop , eat and travel again, how fun and the last time i saw her, she has grown so pretty and full of glow and radiance on her face..that's coz she has found a dream job. on another day, i met a friend who work as bank in raffles place; stressful and long hour ass hole job and she has grown so much wrinkles and tiredness shown on her yes, finding what u like really matters. i believe u win in writing and u can start a copywriting service? this will earn u big bucks to many companies with staff who can't write? jia you, bmuses!!

Jess said...

Sigh, very sad. I am in the media industry. And I must say - sama sama. Too bad I suck at sucking up. Brownnosing is a pretty useful skill - esp if you do it and don't seem like you're doing it!

B said...

@HL, haha...toast to our 10 years of contribution to the Singapore whatever teeny ways that is

@Tiffany, haha, copy writing in Singapore and basically publishing here pay really badly! :( haha...

@Jess, Oh if you're in media, it's super duper bitchy!! Yes brown-nosing is super useful skill but I can't deal with it! Cos if I really hate someone, I can't pretend to even like the person, let alone suck up to them. So epic failure :(

jason said...

*applause* - very succinct! Maybe you can write a mini handbook titled "Working World for Dummies". Everyone should have this before their foray into the corporate world. You can also write an edition for working in the gahmen eh?

Jess said...

I know!! Its sometimes so blatant that I can hardly keep myself from rolling my eyes.

How to survive liddat

B said...

@Jason...I think I should write a book and conduct a class in school on how to assimilate into the working work and maybe "Reality 101: Working World" to prep the young peeps before they got their idealism ass raped!

@Jess...Ha, I totally hear you! But I also dunno how like that! Cos I guess it's just the way it works. Sucks big time. And it's especially prominent in certain industries like media and advertising or Marcom etc. It's disgusting cos I've seen how much and blatant some people suck up. I swear that if their bosses stick their dicks out, they'll just kneel down and suck it. I have no idea how some people do it...I guess it's a way of getting up...Yikes!

Tiffany said...

hi Bmuses

your wackiness and sense of humour never fail to crack me up, i believe you have the strength to tide through the ass and bane of the corporate world. i know though u are commonly frustrated with issue like MC, PRC (woota, how rhythm!), irritating like no tomorrow colleague, deep down in your heart, u have the ability to tide through :) i just hope when the right time comes, u can hop to a new job where u feel more belonging..there is never a perfect belonging just least shit at work only :P

a word of encouragement, even when i was in hongkong last week, i still visit your site from the hotel lounge. see how supportive so don't give up ok you have so many supporters and friends and family who love u dearly..oh speaking of my hongkong trip, like to ask you something too. immediately i landed in hongkong, my right breast started to feel so discomfort and it has been weeks since like this..i went for gynae and also ultrasound breast and nothing is found (thanks god!) but how to explain the discomfort? it felt like dull aching and some tingling sensation, u know like something pulling everywhere u go…i felt so depressed these days that i can’t get to my life for such a long time..i think i will need to go for another check up soon for an answer. it’s a terrible period for me too..

yesterday my mum and aunt are encouraging me and they told me such problem is not uncommon, and it will come and go as i must have hurt my nerve around the breast area by chance during flight. and they suggested eating evening primrose oil for breast pain and girl, yesterday after i took wow i felt relieved, so great!! but today, the discomfort started coming back..argh..i will see how it goes as my gynae said she will refer me to see a breast doctor next week to be sure.

have a great weekend, bmuses!

Tiffany said...

ok fine, so i am nothing to you .
maybe all these day of being a faithful reader of yours and my encouragement as a reader is all wasted.

B said...

Hey Tiffany,

I meant to reply but sorry I forgot to. My apology. I have a tendency to forget replying people :(

Wanted to tell you that Evening Primrose Oil works cos a friend of mine has similar issue. Hers was mostly hormonal but it took her about 2 months of Evening Primrose Oil to really ease the tension and pain.

Hope you feel better soon. If you need referral of a good breast doctor, let me know cos I know a pretty good one in NUH.

Tiffany said...

Hi bmuses

thanks for getting back again :) .

i am thankful for your words :) i always draw strength in your words.

sorry, think i was getting a bit petty on this pardon me i am just a woman *ok lame..puke and die* hehehe

oh yes, as reported Evening primrose oil did help with the breast pain but then the "little brittle" feeling is still here though significantly much much better than during the horrid 6 days trip in hongkong and thereafter when i landed in singapore..yes it did help since i took evening primrose. i was like taking 3 - 4 pills a day :P

thanks, can i have the breast doctor in NUH?

my gynae, who got me to do the ultrasound breast actually referred me to the endoscopic doctor in glenagle. he is actually the same doc for my previous abdomen discomfort and now having checking in with her, she said she will refer me to a "breast doc" i was like thanks god..then i came to realize it's still the same endoscopic and he is a man! oh dear..the nurse told me this doctor can also see breast but he is a old old man and i felt insecure letting him examine our private area and plus, somehow i think doctors in gleneagle have some sort of commission based in referral and i don't think he is a specialist in "breast" (since he is a man..arh..) and it's more like referral to the same doctor for anything this gynae can't resolve. so yes, so much of my rambling hahah i would appreciate if you can give me this breast doctor contact in NUH, thanks so much!

PS: on side note, if you need any contact for abs discomfort, gastro/endoscopic, let me know i am happy to refer him to you . he is pretty encouraging and tactful in his gastro examination though sincerely i hope u don't one for the right reason :P

B said...

Hey Tiff,

Look for Dr Philip Lau from NUH, he's head of the Breast Specialty.

Strange that your GP sent you to the endoscopy guy!! Weird! You should continue with the evening primrose oil cos it's more effective when taken long term. Good for the skin too so why not right?!

Take care and feel better soon!

Tiffany said...

Hi Bmuses

yes, thanks madam! got it :)

will also keep you posted if i have any new findings that works equally as good if not better than evening primrose oil but still evening primrose oil wins hands down for generation when it comes to "woman problem" like this :)


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