Little Facts & Lessons About Work

It's been a decade. Yes, it's been 10 years and I can't believe I've been working for a decade. The tragic thing is, I think there're many more 10 years to come if I don't strike lottery soon.

Anyhow, here are some of the things I've learned, realized or figured out from my minion-hood about the working world....

• It is TRUE when I was told that working life is harder than school life
• Money isn't easy to make. It's fucking hard to earn. The so-called "financial independence" they told you about doesn't mean you'll have money to buy whatever you want, it simply means this: You're fucking off your parents' dole and you're on your own. You make whatever peanuts, pay your own bills, get into credit card debts, scrimp and save and get out of debt and hopefully still manage to save some for rainy days or for your old folks' home fund in the future
• When landing a job, it's never about how good you are even when you've got excellent track records in tow, it's very often about who you know and what connections you have. Sometimes it's about how good you look too. I know once that someone was hired cos "she's got nice hair"...yes, verbatim...shocking cos it's a corporate job, not some audition for hair model mind you. It's unfair. Not like you don't know anyway. Deal with it
• It's never about how hard you work. It's about making your boss and people THINK that you're fucking hardworking. Case in point: I have a colleague who stay late everyday but then I see her playing online games or surfing online shops all the time and my boss thinks she's fucking hardworking
• If you're stuck doing low mileage maximum effort project, you're fucked cos nobody would remember. If you can, always go get those that give you maximum mileage and recognition. Your colleague can get a bigger raise by doing one maximum mileage low effort shit while you do 10 low mileage maximum effort tasks. Get the idea?
• ALWAYS shout out what you've done. Yes, it might not be your (or my) style to broadcast every damn piece of work you've completed but trust me, you must make the whole damn world know what you've achieved no matter how small it is. Even shit like "Ohhh I've just finished sending an email" can do you good every now and then
• There will always be incompetent and imbecile bosses. But if you know how to manage the imbeciles, you can run the show. The trick is to "empower" useless bosses and do their stuff that they dunno how to do and they'll leave all the decisions to you while they go play their golf at lunch and go home after. Case in point: I have this useless mid 40s man boss who actually didn't know how to "Cut and Paste"...yes, no fucking kidding....and it was in 2009, not some typewriter Mad Men era
• When working with super control freak bosses who micro-manage, don't work so hard or put in too much effort or thoughts cos they'll change it anyway. They'll have to make changes even when it doesn't make a difference. So again, deal with it. They probably didn't get hugged enough when they were young and you need to forgive them for fucked up childhood
• There will ALWAYS be politics. Some worse, some not as bad but you've never really escaped high school. It's everywhere
• ALWAYS make yourself look really busy and in deep concentration. Even if it's just chatting with friends on MSN
• It's never quite okay to really be on MC because people will think you're just pretending even if you're so sick that you probably have one foot into the grave. Especially so if you're sick on Monday or Friday. I suggest fainting in front of boss if you're intending to take 2 or more days of MC cos it'll show the whole office you're sick. Bonus point if they call the ambulance
• There will always be bosses and evil drones who take your credit. Know how to fight for it. When making a brilliant suggestion you know they'll most likely steal, make sure you make it in front of the big boss or the Grand Poobah so they'll know it's your idea
• You can't be buddy and friends with everyone. Yes some friendships do blossom at workplace but best not to trust everyone unless they've proven to have your back. You never really know who your real enemies are...very dangerous
• Never get yourself involved in office politics. ALWAYS be neutral when someone asks you stuff about another person cos your words can be used against you to insinuate things. Eg. "Miss B also agrees that...." or "Miss B said...." So don't get yourself in that boobie trap
• Always be nice to everyone you work with, both within and outside of the company. You never know when you'll run into them, work with them, need their help or be interviewed by them again. Once a colleague was cocky and somewhat rude to a magazine newbie writer we worked with, and years later, the same writer became the editor. Nuff said
• Your idealism (and I say naivety) might make you think that money isn't everything and job satisfaction is more important. Well that's what I thought, but after getting the same job satisfaction of doing the same things in different companies and different settings (read: doing the same shit over and over or "same shit, different days"), I've come to realize money is MORE important...especially when a big bill land on your lap or when you see a pair of drool-worthy Louboutin or yummy Chanel bag you so longingly want to buy....Money matters. A HELL LOT. Unless you have a trust fund that is
• Promotion and recognition by merit, contribution and competence don't happen all the time. It happens sometimes if you're lucky but other times, it's about how many boots you lick and how many cocks you suck
• Very often, glamorous-looking jobs or companies have very un-glamorous pay.....trust me on that
• In many big organizations, you get retrenched not because their financials are in the reds but it's because they're not making enough money (thank god not my first hand experience...yet)...how disgusting? But yes it's true, their way of cooking the book the make their financials look good is to well, cook and kill their employees. Dog eat dog
• Loyalty is a scamp and hasn't got real value. You might pledge loyalty by staying with a company but they can axe you without blinking an eye. Case in point: a long-serving ex colleague who's super capable and hardworking said the wrong thing once and its his downfall and then he got axed one day. Stupid him cos he had a couple of good offers which he didn't take. See, what does loyalty bring you? Nothing much. Does loyalty pay your bill? Well, clearly it doesn't in this case
• George Orwell's Animal Farm is a very accurate reflection of the working world. The pigs run the world and the loyal ones are worked to death
• You're very dispensable and replaceable. Don't ever get tricked into thinking that you're so valuable cos when crunch time comes, you're nothing but a fucking number to your employer

Hmm...that's more or less....I'm sure there's more I can think of but I guess the salient points are there anyway.