Friday, February 18, 2011

The Art of Solitide

Being alone and feeling loneliness. They're two different things but they're both very much dreaded by many. I have friends, male and female, who're horrified of both. Some simply can't stand being on their own for just a couple of hours. Some, when left alone at home, actually feel lost as they'll be bored and they don't know what to do and they can't sit still alone. And they my friends tell me that they're bored at home alone and not having anything to do, I wish they could appreciate the calmness and treat of solitude.

I'm a bit of a loner. Not your creepy sitting in a corner, chewing on her own hair kind of scary loner. I would say I'm a sociable loner. A bit of an oxymoron I know. But why not? I love my own company and solitude but I do socialize with people and I can be super gregarious even. Most people wouldn't even know I'm a loner but those close to me would know I very much prefer my own company. Groups, I dread them. I don't do groups cos hanging out in a big group bores and agitates me.And when I hang out with my friends, at the end of the day, I would need my time alone and I'll want to be left in my room at night doing my own stuff like reading and writing and be undisturbed cos otherwise, I get very cranky. Oh, and I LOVE traveling alone and taking solo holidays cos it's fun and I get to do whatever I feel like at my own time own target. No pressure! And my friends would often ask things like "Wow, you're so brave to travel alone, aren't you scared?" or "Don't you get bored and lonely?"....well, I travel to safe countries so I'm not that scared and at times, it's fun to get scared a bit. And nope, I don't feel lonely cos there're so many new things to see and I talk to strangers too and you'll always be amazed by the interesting people you meet.

Many years back, on my birthday, I traveled to Bali alone and I spent the best birthday I had. I met a Japanese dancer who's also traveling to Bali solo and we had lots of fun hiking and she even got me a pair of earrings for my birthday. And on my birthday night, I went for drinks with my new Japanese friend (who till now is still in contact with me), the Balinese guy who worked in my resort and drove me around, and this French couple we met along the way. We were at The Jazz Bar in Ubud and I heard the BEST live Jazz bar performance by this very big Bali man named Koman with an equally powerful vocals. So who said traveling alone can't be fun?

Anyway, I digress as always. The point is, solitude is awesome if you learn how to appreciate your own company. I love it and I found a youtube video that actually puts it together nicely....

P.S. I'm going Bangkok tonight with people at work cos it's Ah Meow's hen's party tomorrow night. I'm actually hoping I'm traveling alone! Wish me luck!

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.
You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.
Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school’s groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you’re happy in your head then solitude is blessed and alone is okay.
It’s okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.


Jess said...

Thanks for the video :)

B said...

You're welcome! Hope you like it as much as I do!


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